In the first segment, Louie volunteers to chaperon his daughter's field trip along with her teacher, which a surly bus driver helps turn into a disaster. In the second segment, Louie goes on an awkward and unsuccessful first date.

In the first segment, the conversation during a poker game becomes an intense exploration of gay culture. In the second segment, after Louie's brother depresses him about the finality of his divorce, Louie reminisces about a high school crush, subsequently looking her up on Facebook.

In the first segment, Louie goes to a doctor who's an old high school friend with an odd sense of humor. In the second segment, after performing at the Comedy Cellar, he dines with a fellow comedian who harbors passionate political views.

In the first segment, Louie hooks up with a young woman at the Comedy Cellar (Elizabeth Hower) who's attracted to older guys. In the second segment, he bonds with a woman he meets at a PTA meeting while their kids are on a play date. Throughout the episode, Louie has odd interactions with his therapist.

Louie endures a number of typical airline problems traveling to Birmingham for a gig. After the show, he meets an intense fan and her intimidating brother at a local diner, and a sheriff who just wants a little appreciation.

In the first segment, Louie deals with a heckler during his gig at the Comedy Cellar. In the second segment, Louie is guilted into accepting a role as a cop in a movie directed by Matthew Broderick, but finds acting difficult.

In the first segment, Louie deals with the awkward situation created when he's propositioned by his brother to join in a three-way. In the second segment, Louie's unpleasant and stupid mother visits to report that she's now a lesbian, but is met with unloving indifference from Louie and injured resentment from Robby.

After leaving his girls with their mother for a week, Louie tries to cope with their absence. He initially plans on exercising, but ends up eating ice cream and pizza for two days. Later, he's pressured into smoking pot with his obnoxious neighbor and decides to get an adult dog, which promptly dies. After Animal Control picks up the dog to dispose of it, Louie's girls return and he tells them he had a good weekend.

Flashbacks depict Louis learning about sex as a boy from his father and in school. On a date, he is emasculated by a high school student who threatens to beat him up. He secretly follows the bully home to Staten Island and confronts his parents.

During a stand up routine, Louie discusses serious topics such as child abuse and abduction. In the first segment, Louie goes to a new dentist who's afraid of dentists himself and specializes in calming patients fears. Louie is anesthetized and provided with middle eastern music. While under, he dreams about speaking with Osama Bin Laden and a group of terrorists. The group discuss ethics and the 9/11 attacks. Louie then dreams that the dentist is putting a banana in his mouth. When he wakes up he finds the dentist frantically zipping his pants, implying that Louie was orally raped. While performing stand up, Louie discusses the intricacies of male sexuality. In a second segment, he attempts to court a black woman named Tarese who works at the local grocery store. After buying groceries, Louie buys the woman flowers (from the same store), checks out at her register, and then gives the flowers to her. Tarese calls the manager to complain and the manager reimburses Louie for the flowers.

When a nun at his Catholic school feels a young Louie and his friend aren't sufficiently penitent over Christ's suffering on the cross, a visiting doctor is brought in to give a graphic, medically specific description of the event, which haunts and frightens Louie. But Louie's mother turns up in a new incarnation as a wise and loving parent who tells Louie that relying on dogma isn't the best way to be a good person.

After an exhausting morning getting his girls ready for school, Louie lets a fellow dad at his daughter's school train him at the gym, where he proves to be in worse shape than he thought.

On an aimless night out that his babysitter awkwardly talks him out of cancelling, Louie decides to break his rut by hanging out with a couple of black comics. After feeling completely out of place at a club, he ends up going to the Eastville Comedy Club to do a short set, then home to his kids for an early-morning pancake breakfast.

Louie's pregnant sister visits, and she needs to be taken to the hospital during the night as she is in pain. Upon hearing his sister screaming, Louie's two neighbors arrive. After some indecision, one of them looks after the kids while Louie and the other neighbor bring his sister to the hospital. Though it turns out to be a false alarm, Louie finds a bond with the people who live around him.

In the first part of the episode, Louie awkwardly scores a "non-date" with a young woman who has no real interest in him, but a shocking and violent encounter on his way to meet her for a movie leads to a darker, more introspective Louie that appeals to her—until he tells her the specifics of that encounter. In the second part, Louie is approached by his daughter's classmate's mom to have an emotionless sexual encounter; he agrees to do it, and comes to regret that decision every step of the way.

After a comment by his daughter, Louie has misgivings about continuing to stay in the apartment they lived in when he was married and begins house hunting. After seeing several disastrous apartments, he finds the ideal place. Despite his accountant's assurances and his own awareness that it is very much out of his price range, Louie remains committed to the idea of buying it. In the end, he repaints his old apartment with his daughters by his side.

After a disappointing experience trying to do a set at a casino lounge, Louie cancels his contract and wanders the casino floor. He ends up watching a section of Joan Rivers's set in the casino's theater, and goes backstage to meet her. She invites him to hang out in her suite, where she proceeds to explain how he should be grateful for his opportunities. As a result, they have sexual intercourse and Louie goes and gets his job back.

Louie and his daughters take a long drive to visit Louie's great aunt Ellen out in rural Pennsylvania, where Louie mostly ignores his younger daughters' complaints of boredom and has a blast rocking out to "Who Are You?". There, they find her actions and vocabulary weird, specifically her use of the word nigger, referring to Brazil nuts as niggertoes. Louie decides he wants his daughters to talk to Ellen without any censoring, but the point becomes moot when she collapses and dies in her kitchen. Louie then does a stand-up bit about Tom Sawyer being a good kid and Huckleberry Finn a bigoted little jerk.

Louie starts his evening with a surreal trip on the NYC subway, where he witnesses a busker playing beautiful violin music while a filthy homeless man scrubs himself down with bottled water nearby, has a black-and-white vision of himself saving the riders from a soda-soaked seat, and then heads into the opening credits. Later, he meets his friend Pamela for lunch, and he ends up passionately telling her how he feels about her. And she doesn't respond at first, leaving him to misread a later invitation of hers, and the revelation ends with Louie standing outside her building and screaming in pain and anger.

The episode begins in a flashback with Louie filming the pilot for a sitcom. After complaining about the unrealistic dialogue and use of Bob Saget as the next door neighbor, Louie is shown arriving home to an unseen and presumably upset wife and their newborn baby Lilly. The episode then jumps to Lilly's tenth birthday. Louie sets out to obtain Lady GaGa concert tickets as a birthday present for his daughter, but doing so means he has to approach Dane Cook, a very successful comedian who is upset by accusations he has stolen material from Louie.

The spokeswoman for a group called Christians Against Masturbation, Ellen Farber, and Louie have a debate about the morality of masturbation on a the FOX News program, Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld. Louie is the only person they could find willing to openly defend masturbation. After the show Louie goes home and masturbates while imagining a woman he had just seen on the elevator. Then, at Ellen's request, he attends a CAM meeting, and goes out for drinks with her after. She invites him up to her suite, but Louie is denied when he tries to go in for a kiss. Ellen gives a long passionate speech about how nice it would be to talk, date a long time before a kiss (but not "making out"), then finally getting to see her in her underwear on their wedding night. Then he goes to her suite bathroom to masturbate.

After a set, Louie is greeted by Eddie Mack, a fellow comedian who started his career the same time as Louie but has never found much success and lives in his broken-down car. He and Eddie catch up after not seeing each other for 20 years by going to the liquor store and then an open mic where Eddie does a very funny routine under the stage name "Shitty Fat Tits" before Eddie confesses his plans to end his own life, leaving Louie to ponder how (or if) to dissuade him.

Louie and his daughters go trick-or-treating on Halloween in New York City. As darkness falls, they are confronted by a pair of costumed punks. Louie's younger daughter Jane confronts the two men and helps scare them away. In the second part of this episode, Louie sits in on a brainstorming session for an upcoming cop movie. Louie's ideas for the script get the attention of a high-powered movie producer named Ellie. Louie is promptly invited to lunch to discuss movie ideas, but ultimately his ideas prove too dark for Hollywood.

Louie unwillingly takes home Jane's class ducklings for the evening. The next morning he embarks on a 5-day USO tour in the Middle East, when unbeknownst to him, Lily had hidden one of the ducklings in his suitcase to keep him safe. Louie meets other entertainers (including country western singer Keni Thomas) as well as many various soldiers during his time overseas. The duckling ends up bringing Louie and others good luck in ridiculous and heartwarming fashion.

Louie waits at Grand Central Station to pick up his sister and niece for a visit. However, his sister surprises him by dumping the niece Amy on him and running off to catch a train to Philadelphia. Louie and Amy spend the night in New York together, visiting an indie rock club at her request, after which she asks to see Louie perform. After seeing her enamored with Godfrey's set, Louie attempts, unsuccessfully, to impress his niece by doing crowd work. After the set, Louie is surprised to see Godfrey spark up a lively conversation with the usually sullen teen. When they arrive back at the apartment, Louie receives a call from a Philadelphia hospital informing him that Amy's mother was found "acting irrationally" in a public fountain and that she is being held under observation. With Amy's father out of the picture, Louie volunteers to keep Amy until his sister is released.

Louie takes some bad advice from Steven Wright and winds up getting in a car with an attractive but somewhat creepy woman who takes him to New Jersey for a devil's three-way with her husband, which leads to Louie wandering the Jersey 'burbs at night and relying on his pal Chris Rock to rescue him; Louie takes a trip to the airport with Pamela.

Louie has a challenging day.

Louie has dinner at a friend's house.

Louie goes to Miami.

Louie is looking for a mate.

Louie goes on a date.

A guy dies, Louie meets a comedian, and has a bad day with a bad kid.

Louie takes an old friend shopping and has a bit of an emergency.

Louie deals with a rash.

Louie searches for a lost love and then for his daughter.

Louie gets a break. Maybe.

Louie begins a quest.

Louie continues his efforts to earn the Late Show hosting job. He is visibly moved by his daughters' support for his goal, but continues to be confounded by Jack Dall, who gives Louie a "make me laugh right now" ultimatum he barely passes and then has him do a practice interview with an emotional cleaning woman. Louie makes it to an actual test show in front of a packed audience, where Jack wishes him well and gives him some advice that pays off when Jerry Seinfeld tells Louie he's already signed a deal to take over for David Letterman and Louie would be nice to keep it a secret. Louie recognizes Jerry is lying and goes out and absolutely crushes his test show, mixing genial humor with some raunchier material and hilarious interviews with Susan Sarandon and Paul Rudd. Lars Tardigan loves the footage and says "We've got an option!" That night, Louie gathers with his comedian friends for the news, but Doug shows up looking downcast just as Maria Menounos announces that David Letterman re

Louie struggles through the holidays.

Louie has a typical day.

Louie does a benefit show.

Louie meets somebody new.

Louie helps a neighbor.

Louie takes his new friend to lunch.

Someone from Louie's past pops up again.

Louie and Janet seek professional help.

Louie and Amia connect.

Mother nature takes control of Louie's life.

Louie on the rebound.

Louie Remembers his past.

Louie Remembers his past.

Louie & Pamela go on a date.

Pamela & Louie

Louie goes to a potluck dinner.

Louie hosts an open mic.

Louie runs into an old acquaintance.

Bobby invites Louie over.

Jane visits the doctor.

Jane has some friends over.

Louie goes on the road.

Louie continues his work on the road.