Stan puts down liberal social programs because he thinks they are a waste of money and gives Francine a hard time for lending a helping hand at the local homeless shelter. When Stan develops a nasty addiction and needs help, he suddenly has a change of heart.

Peter gets more than he bargained for when he joins the rodeo, while Brian gets a gig writing for a teen magazine about the average American girl. But when he starts trailing Meg for research he discovers that her desperate attempts at dating have led her to a guy in the slammer. When Brian tries to expose Meg’s secret to the family, he finds out that her boyfriend, Luke, has broken out of jail and has been hiding in the Griffin’s house.

Homer blows off Marge to buy a lottery ticket and winds up winning the million-dollar jackpot. Fearing how Marge will react if she finds out the reason Homer missed their date, Homer keeps his newly inherited fortune a secret and spoils his family with “anonymous” gifts. When Bart finds out, he and Homer spend the money like it’s going out of style, including buying front-row to tickets to see Coldplay in concert.