The spokeswoman for a group called Christians Against Masturbation, Ellen Farber, and Louie have a debate about the morality of masturbation on a the FOX News program, Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld. Louie is the only person they could find willing to openly defend masturbation. After the show Louie goes home and masturbates while imagining a woman he had just seen on the elevator. Then, at Ellen's request, he attends a CAM meeting, and goes out for drinks with her after. She invites him up to her suite, but Louie is denied when he tries to go in for a kiss. Ellen gives a long passionate speech about how nice it would be to talk, date a long time before a kiss (but not "making out"), then finally getting to see her in her underwear on their wedding night. Then he goes to her suite bathroom to masturbate.
After a set, Louie is greeted by Eddie Mack, a fellow comedian who started his career the same time as Louie but has never found much success and lives in his broken-down car. He and Eddie catch up after not seeing each other for 20 years by going to the liquor store and then an open mic where Eddie does a very funny routine under the stage name "Shitty Fat Tits" before Eddie confesses his plans to end his own life, leaving Louie to ponder how (or if) to dissuade him.
Gail and Traci apprehend a man who mysteriously collapses at the station which in turn places Division 15 under quarantine. Andy and Swarek are after a brutal bank robber and his partner but it will take some out-of-the-box thinking to solve this crime. Dov goes out on a first date with the bomb tech who saved his life.
Mike is tasked with reigning in a modern day Robin Hood whose illicit deeds are putting a client's business at risk. Also, Louis must resolve his differences with Harvey to win a case. Amanda Crew and Bruce Altman guest star.